Where to begin. Again.

Re·in·vent: to change something so much that it appears to be entirely new.

It has been 2 months since I moved back home from Ireland. I went from having nothing to do to always being on the go, but it’s all about balance right?

My mum picked me up from the airport and I was so excited to see her. I had been in a funk for a while and just needed a mum hug. Then we got in the car and all of these emotions came rushing through me. Sadness. Anger. Frustration. Happiness. Each of these feelings valid. I started crying because I felt like I was a failure. I moved to Ireland to start a life, to finally do something that I was proud of. I felt like I had found my forever home and it ended up being the complete opposite. I found nothing. I lost myself and worst of all I lost my spirit. My happiness was gone and all I did was cry and felt sorry for myself. That is not like me but when you feel so lost and alone, that’s all you can feel sometimes.

We got my house and I went upstairs and cried some more. That night I went to sleep and had this dream that I was telling myself everything was going to be okay. There was no need to worry and the decision to come home was the right one. I woke up the next morning feeling relieved and feeling happiness come back into my life. I was starting to feel like me again but a new me. Someone who was ready to reinvent herself.

I never want to seem entirely new when I reinvent myself but I do want to let go of the things that are not serving me well. Yoga is something that I try and keep with me no matter where I am or who I am. Things I try to get rid of are negative thoughts, the person inside that says you aren’t good enough, bad habits like being lazy or feeling bad for myself. These are things that I try and leave behind to reinvent a better, happier me. It isn’t always easy but if it was easy, everyone would do it.

The biggest question people ask is what are you going to do now? The answer, I HAVE NO IDEA! I hate not knowing because it makes me feel very insecure and I don’t like not having a plan. However, that is something I need to work on. Not knowing is not the worst thing. Does anyone ever REALLY know what they are doing? Well yes, probably. But there is such a huge amount of people that don’t. I am here to tell you THAT’S OKAY!

  1. Whatever you choose to do in life, make sure it makes you happy
  2. Don’t settle for something because that’s what you’re “supposed to do”
  3. Listening to other peoples opinions will only make you feel worse
  4. Live your life the way YOU want to. Not the way society wants you to or the way your family thinks you should
  5. Be yourself. You are different from the next person. What you want and what they want will never be the same. Think for yourself
  6. Don’t compare your life to others. They are on a different chapter than you
  7. Living your life for someone else will make you miserable and unsatisfied

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

No, but really, these are things that I need to remind myself of. It’s so hard not to compare our lives to others especially when you see people working their dream job, owning a home, getting married, having kids, doing the “grown-up” thing. But that isn’t necessarily for everyone.

The grass is always greener on the other side. I see people on social media (social media usually highlight the best part of people's lives) who are living this amazing life. They are happy with their job, family, weekends away and so on. People see my social media and the travelling that I do (again I usually only show the best parts) and think that I am living this wonderful life. What they don’t see is the struggle of being alone most of the time. Not being able to find a job and not making friends that way I had hoped. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE travelling but there is always something else you don't see. The people that post photos of their families, vacations and everything in between are so happy with their lives but don’t necessarily have the freedom that I have to just pick up and go. They have more responsibility.

Is there a right way and a wrong way to live your life? No. Unless the life you are living is making you miserable, change it. I guess that’s what I did. I was so unhappy in Ireland because I couldn’t find work or really make a lot of friends. So I changed my current situation and made it a better one.

Life is interesting. It literally is this rollercoaster and you need to hang on and enjoy the ride. If you’re not enjoying the ride, pick a new one. Do something that makes you happy. Your life is yours to live.

So here we are, reinventing myself. Again. And I am okay with that. Spreading joy and happiness to people is what makes me feel complete and makes me feel good. Knowing that someone has a smile on their face because of something nice I said or did for them makes me feel like I did my job. Everything else, just a filler.

Stay adventurous.

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1 thought on “Where to begin. Again.”

  1. Very well written. You are on a journey that you can’t control at this moment. You will find the happiness you are looking for someday. It’s out there my bobo and when you do find it you will know. 😘😘

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